How Did I End Up Here?

Helen Roberts respectable suburban housewife and mother of two sat at bar surveying the other patrons in the country house which double up as a swingers club. She felt like she didn’t belong! Everyone else looked younger, a lot younger than her 38 years and in her eyes and they all looked far more glamorous.

She didn’t want to be here, it had been her husband’s Dave’s idea. He sat next to her looking as confident as ever. He had been nagging her for months before she reluctantly agreed to sign up to a dating and swingers website which led to them being here at the club for the first time. The fact that Dave’s affair had led them to this position added further irritation to her discomfort. Upon being discovered he had begged for forgiveness, before confessing he needed more than Helen could offer and then finally suggesting they explore ‘new’ things together. Helen’s love for her children had been a primary consideration in not heading straight out the door and to the divorce courts.

He finally convinced her to look at the website and upload a profile.

Their profiles were separate but showed a link to each other and categorised them as swingers. All members could then swipe right on either Dave’s or Helen’s details to indicate an interest. Where things differed to other dating sites, were that the results would not be shared with members until the ‘swingers amalgamation event’ which is what they were attending tonight.

Helen had worked through the male profiles indicating who she liked. She found the process difficult without meeting them, on looks alone she would have probably said yes to most of them, but she excluded many on the basis of the profiles sounding a bit too arrogant.

The site enabled private messaging and Helen received a few complimentary comments and introductions but was unsure how to reply so just left them.

Helen guessed there were about 20 couples present at the event, invited as a result of the web site’s algorithms working out an equal number of matches. The instructions stated that everyone needed to bring a mobile with the club’s swingers app loaded on it. They could attend from 7pm, the app would publish matches at 8pm. Members then had to spend 30 minutes in the communal areas with their matches before deciding if they wanted to ‘couple up’ and retire to the first floor, which seemed to be protected by a couple of burly guards. Those coupling up had up until 10pm to spend with their new partners or they could return earlier. Then they were free to drink, meet others or continue partying.

Helen wondered again why Dave had pushed so hard for this. He was usually popular with women and knew it. Was it about the freedom and exploration he had described or just a sordid way for him to have sex with another blonde bimbo without the risk of being caught this time?

She had hesitated for the umpteenth time whilst getting ready not sure at all what to wear. Dave was clearly very excited, opposite to her own feeling of dread. He reaffirmed they should go and encouraged her to be daring, suggesting a plunging red halter neck satin dress than felt a little tight these days along with matching stiletto heels. If she was to wear it, she thought she needed underwear which would help her figure, choosing a vintage 1950s styled open bottomed girdle with suspenders and nude stockings. She looked in the mirror and surprised herself by thinking she looked pretty good and it was nice to be all dressed up for a change. She couldn’t recall the last time she had dressed like this or been taken out on a date for that matter. A clutch purse and thin silver shawl completed her outfit.

They had arrived shortly after 7, checked in with a receptionist who made sure the app was working on both of their phones. The app was connected to several large display screens located in the main communal and bar areas. The instructions advised that the 3 male and 3 female members with the most likes would be announced on the screens at 7.30pm and that the matching would be announced at 8pm.

Helen was totally flabbergasted to see her photo appear on the big screens at 7.30 taking a while to realise she had been ranked 3rd. She thought the women ranked above her both looked like models as did the 3 guys selected. She blushed as people suddenly seemed to be staring at her. A guy next to her at the bar smiled and offered his congratulations.

Helen stammered, “It must be a mistake.”

He shook his head, “Not from where I’m standing.”

“But the others are stunning and so much younger.”

“Nonsense” he cut in “You are gorgeous, a little older but you have amazing curves, your ass might be a bit bigger than when you were younger but its still a perfect peach shape, your leggy and those big tits are just irresistible.”

Helen turned crimson, she was both flattered and insulted, but seeing as she was sitting in a swingers club didn’t feel like she could be too upset and couldn’t deny feeling pretty good about the situation. The fact Dave wasn’t in the top 3 men added to her happiness.

The top 3 was followed by confirmation that at 8pm matches would announced via the app. A looped background message displayed on the screens detailing the matching algorithm. This explained all individuals had been ranked based on the number of likes on the web site. The algorithm began with the number 1 ranked female, working down her list of liked men present this evening to find the highest ranked man who had liked her profile. So the number 1 ranked female would be matched with the number 1 ranked male but only if they had both swiped right on each other’s profiles. If not it would match her with the next highest male she had swiped right on, excluding her own partner. Any matched guys were removed from the available list and so on until all couples were matched. With conflicts and overlaps it sounded complicated, no wonder they needed an algorithm and they must have tailored who got invited to the event to make it all work.

Dave seemed a bit frustrated that his wife’s high ranking didn’t affect his own scoring, but then again he was assured of a match and all the women in attendance looked hot. He was thinking this had been a really good idea; he really should have tried it years earlier.

Helen looked nervously at her phone for the umpteenth time, just as the time ticked over to 8pm, a message popped up’ congratulations you have matched with… John. A photo of her match popped up and Helen gulped, looking up at the screen she could see the same image next to the No 1 ranked male on the big screen.

Dave looked up from his own match, a pretty red head named Marion to check Helen’s. He looked a bit bemused as he realised who Helen had been matched with.

They barely had time to talk as the follow up messaging used a gps signal and floor plan to direct people to their matches. Helen stood on wobbly legs to go find her match only to be taken aback as an extraordinarily handsome man greeted her.

“Hi you must be Helen, I’m John.”

He leaned in and kissed her cheek. He smelled absolutely divine. Helen felt herself blush before recovering and saying hello properly, noticing Dave eyeing her suspiciously before wondering off to find his own match.

John got them both a drink and they sat back at the bar. She wasn’t sure quite what to say, before managing:

“I’m not sure how you have ended up with me, I mean you’re top.”

“Oh that easy to explain,” John replied smoothly. “The number 1 ranked female is my wife Danielle, and I didn’t swipe right on the woman ranked 2, so you were my top match. I only liked 3 women in the whole list and I must have been your top match.”

“Your picked me first”, murmured Helen

“Absolutely, you were easily my first choice” smiled John.

“But why me, I mean everyone else looks so glamorous and so young”.

John looked genuinely confused. “You have no idea do you?”


“Just how ‘glamorous’ you look and the fact you have no idea just makes you even more beautiful.”

Helen blushed again it was becoming a habit, “Flatterer, you’ve done this before.”

“Actually we’ve only been a couple of times. I prefer women who are real. I’m not really into the skeletal blondes and fake boobs. They would just be like a poorer version of Danielle. You are gorgeous, all of your curves, you have that classic hour glass look going on, I absolutely love it.”

“Oh, right, errm, well not sure what I can say other than thank you.”

John looked up and down her body unashamedly, his eyes pausing on her legs, breasts and finally face.

“No need and I’m really happy you chose me.” As he said it John leant forward and placed a hand on Helen’s thigh.

It reminded her that she wore stockings and he was touching them, she started to panic.

John noticed immediately and removed his hand. He looked at her inquisitively for a few moments.

“I take it this is your first time at a club and it wasn’t your idea.”

Helen wondered how he worked that out from look but nodded agreement.

“Ah right… sorry if that was a little forward. Just relax; we don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do. This set up is pretty full on. At worst we enjoy a drink together then go our separate ways with no hard feelings. If we stay together for a while, we won’t do a single thing you’re not comfortable with and you can still walk away at any time.”

Helen felt the tension in her muscles ease and managed a smile, “Thanks that means a lot.”

“To be honest, it wasn’t my idea either, but Danielle is really into it.”

Helen was surprised, “Really?”

“Yeah, I prefer a few quiet beers at the pub and a night in with my wife, but this can be fun and at least I know what she is up to.”

Helen was going to ask more, but it sounded close to why she was there with Dave and she didn’t want to press more on what might be a touchy subject.

The 30 minutes passed in a hurry, their conversation was relaxed and entertaining. At 8.30 the app pinged messages. Members had to press a match accept or reject button on their phone.

Helen looked at John asking, “What are you going to vote?”

He laughed “I already voted and can’t tell you.”

Helen pressed accept, the app then showed avatars representing herself and John holding hands and then a collar being added to both of their characters.

She looked up, nervously.

John smiled: “I am absolutely delighted and honoured, thank you so much.”

“Likewise” was all Helen could manage in return before feeling her face blush yet again.

John stood and offered her his hand. She took it, as she stood John pulled her into a kiss. It was quick but was on the lips, Helen felt slightly dizzy. Breaking the kiss he led Helen to the stairs. She quickly looked around for Dave but couldn’t see him, so assumed he was doing the same thing as she was.

In reality Dave was trying to get through the crowd of people heading towards the stairs. He finally spotted Helen on the first floor landing, smiling, arm in arm with a tall and ridiculously good looking man. He started for the stairs only to be stopped by a guard saying it was couples only. Helen disappeared as the guard directed him back to the bar.

His meeting with Marion hadn’t gone to plan; she seemed to want a romantic encounter whilst Dave was looking for raw uncomplicated sex. Still it came as a surprise when after he pressed accept; the app showed two icons moving apart and a sad face in-between. A message popped up: ‘Please return to the bar area, we hope you have more luck there.’ It took him a while to realise he had been rejected and then try to convince Marion to change her mind; by that time he had missed Helen. At least he still had a chance, he returned to the bar.

It was clear some of the people in the bar were real couples who had decided not to go through with it. He started a conversation with an attractive brunette but he noticed her looking at another guy across the bar. A few smiles and nods later and she made a brief apology and left. He tried to chat up the remaining women there but it was obvious they weren’t interested. He checked the app which confirmed his conclusion: ‘All matches currently taken’. He felt sick to his stomach, ordering a whisky he wondered what Helen was up to, it had only been 30 minutes since the matching and he had at least another hour to wait. In actuality it was another two hours before he would see Helen again.

Helen’s time with John was nothing short of a revelation. From the moment they swept arm in arm up the grand staircase it was prefect. John’ touches were electric and he was so handsome, she could feel the bulky muscle of his bicep as they linked arms. Usually she found guys staring at her chest irritating, but John could look just as much as he wanted, despite that he maintained eye contact with Helen, she wondered if he could see them sparkle with anticipation and excitement.

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